I then proceeded to live in my bed for 2 years & was a shell of who I used to be. I spent over six figures on aggressive treatment and hardly saw much improvement in my physical body. I was in so much pain. At the time it felt like I had lost everything, and I truthfully couldn’t see a future for myself. My life was on the line with chronic Lyme disease.
I have a life long history of trauma patterns. I was brought up in an environment of mental illness, violence and unpredictability. I didn’t experience much stability as a child, more often than not I felt unsafe in my home. I quickly developed patterns of nervous system dysregulation and attachment issues, and even though I developed coping strategies that helped me survive and get through grade school, middle school, high school and even graduate school, I eventually found myself really sick and stuck.
I had a classic set up for lifelong chronic illness from severe childhood trauma and for a good chunk of my life, I was running from it all. People pleasing, having zero boundaries, numbing, not accepting my authentic self and unique soul gifts. I was lost, hurting, not taking care of myself and had so much pain buried inside me, which resulted in a perpetual state of self-doubt, fear, anxiety, second guessing myself, and ultimately manifested as dis-ease in my body.
Despite it all, I had such a strong will to live and a resiliency that I am so proud of. I am breaking the patterns of trauma and illness in my family line.
It wasn't until I was ready to do this deep emotional/spiritual healing that I finally saw significant improvements in my physical body & was finally able to stop living my life from bed.
I discovered that there was no external thing that was going to heal me. I had to turn inward and in doing so I uncovered that my subconscious beliefs and energetic foundation was subscribed to struggle, scarcity, sickness, trauma, drama and lack. I became deeply aware of my patterns and the things I was clinging to that were keeping me sick.
I allowed my body the space and time, without rushing the process, to unwind all of the patterns, which resulted in immense acceptance and healing.
This means I love to communicate and am intuitive, emotional, adaptable, clever and witty, but also welcoming and gentle. I was born with innate wisdom and have a gift of seeing things in a way that others can't. I devote a lot of energy to my work & I am able to provoke something deep within people. I am here to be a guide.
Slow mornings, time in nature, good skincare, meditation, worshipping the sun, belly laughs, paddle boarding, EFT, somatic exercises, nourishing my soul, podcasts, long walks, chasing sunsets, astrology and human design.
We suffer under the belief that healing is back and white. There is no point A to point B. Healing is a process of becoming undone, of reconnecting with our authentic selves, and releasing the burdens that weigh us down.
Hustle culture, people pleasing, band-aid fixes, saying yes when you want to say no, and identifying with your diagnosis.
Our body's ability to heal is much greater than anyone has permitted us to believe.